“MY ELVES QUEEN FERINA OF SINDARIN”
” Tomorrow’s over, and yesterday never came…
standing in a monsoon complaining it never rain,
everything different but I feel nothing ever change
only problem is nothing ever remain the same…”
It’s hard enough when your not around
You don’t know how much it brings me down.
Knowing it was something I did, I should have respected your feelings…
I know I treated you the wrong way, and there is nothing I could say…
I didn’t know I would miss you so much…
I need you back and I need your love…
The winds rush by strong and carelessly,
Throwing away my dreams out openly,
And in the shadow of my smile lies pain,
Locked away in freezing chains,
Never has anyone seen my face,
Just a mask tied with black lace,
I cry out in loneliness and shame,
For I know it will always be the same,
Anger hate sadness and sorrow, past present, and always tomorrow….
All these feelings unmasked when you were around
With you I felt safe and sound,
And now look at me…
When you left I knew I made a mistake
And I want you back…
When you left I just felt like the world was collapsing,
Where is all of my support, why is this happening?
Lost in my mind, but im not alone,
You’re still here when i close my eyes…
I sit on rooftops watching people live their lives,
Ive gotten to the point where my conscience has died,
Fuck it all im tired of lies,
I sit in my room alone at night and cry,
I don’t go out cause you’re on my mind,
My friends want the old me back,
But i cant even remember who he was,
I’ve become a nervous wreck,
popping percocet,
Surprised I haven’t O’Dead yet,
I’m manically depressed, diagnosed this year,
Here’s a few pills man wash em down with a beer,
Why am i still living life if im living in fear,
The only way i can really see you is from behind a tear,
I know you hate me you’ve made it clear,
And if you’re not with me I cant stay here….
God… where will I go? I’m a courier with no message headed down a lonesome road,
I cant stand being myself that’s why I’m getting throwed,
4, 5 bottles of Johnny or Jack, take it all at once that shit ain’t nothing…
Excuse me, let me apologize for cussing, but see, I’m younger than 45, and contemplating suicide, so i apologize for nothing….
Thinking of what I did,
What I made of myself,
Cause when I look down I see some scars,
And when I see the scars I think of your broken heart,
The love of my life is gone…
I knew I could of done something
But no I didn’t…
It’s all my fault… ha..!!! good riddance…
Fuck it man, I don’t what’s all the business …
Life is as good as over..
Cause I can’t even try and bulldozer…
Over the problem at hand,
When I made myself a fan
But no…. damn….
I never what it would be like….
Without you by my side ….
Wishing I could see you without breaking into a fight ….
I don’t wanna hurt you…
But you can’t get over why I’m here….
“SOMETHING I PUT TOGETHER…
I’M NOT GOOD BUT I THOUGHT,
IF THIS ALL ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD….”
First off I really thought we were meant to be
All along we just did it wrong and honestly it’s killing me…..
Now we’re enemies and I hate the fact that…..
All I see is misery Now that I’m looking back
And It’s just crazy knowin what this love does
It can tear you up apart then leave you when you can’t keep up….
But as time goes on I know I’m in your thoughts less….
And I hate thought of knowing that you’ve been holding someone else ….
But worst part is when you said you’re losing love for me….
Do you understand what that did to me mentally….
It’s all good though cause I know my soul can heal itself
It’s just mind thats having a hard time focusing on something else ….
Anyways I didn’t write this piece to try and get you back…..
It’s just a way for me to express all the feeling I lacked
Anyways before I go I thought that you should probably know…..
I’ve always loved and always will
My elf Queen Ferina…..
CONSTRUCTING THE ALTER EGO 