We used to do things together, going through thick and thin together, and nobody could take that away from us…. but suddenly, this one fine day,you’ve changed completely….. Then, just like that, it hits you……
You’ve become one of them….
I used to sit and see all the same faces and wonder what kept them in their routine. What kept them doing the same things over and over again.
As time went on the faces changed and then the irony hit. I am the person I used to see, sitting alone in a world of their own, totally immersed in their routine and now I know what it happens.
No one thinks they’re in a routine, a bubble of protection, a rut… We all feel we are living life dynamically and taking each chance that befalls us, when in reality we avoid anything that is not familiar. We delude ourselves in to thinking we are waiting, planning the next big thing when we’re not. We are simply waiting out life, living it as we always did until we eventually die.
One who I didn’t see, even though she was right there in front of me has done the impossible and booked a 1 way ticket to a new life with no plan. She leaves behind the stability, the routine, the bubble and embarks on what many of us dream of doing, or at least we like to say that’s our dream.
Nothing is holding us back, not really. We stay because we are scared, scared of change, scared of what could be, scared of failing and having to return ashamed to the people we left behind who will look at us with pity and behind their eyes we can see “I knew they wouldn’t last long.” we are weak, I am weak.
Perhaps it’s time to stop talking about it and take that first step…
It’s been exactly a year since she left me all alone hoping me to rot and die all by myself in this huge mansion without a single person to accompany or being there for me…. No maids….. No Servants……. No Caretaker…. No Children…. And most definitely No ‘Wife’ at all….. Not because of Cancer stage 4, Not because of a divorce, Not because of an accident in the middle of the highway, but 100% left me for her owned benefits plus a total shipwrecked brainwashed fucked up Parents and rumors has it that 65% that she mostly had an affair, A fucking Scandal, which making me more and more depressed and pressured hurting deep inside with her drastic changes towards me… A complete package such as being arrogant, selfishness, lame stupid pride, can’t be bothered attitude despite being together for 8 freaking years together in same roof, same pillows, went through thick and thin, happy and sad moments, and those sacrifices and time wasting upon raising up the kids, upgrading the house and shelter, Moving here and there within those years itself is already suffers enough thanks to both our Parents by trying their best with full heart showing their efforts regarding on ” I don’t care I don’t give a fuck just do what I say..” kinda methods…, always wanna win even though it’s so fucking obvious you’re losing here and of course…. by being a bitch, and totally an ASSHOLES….
CONSTRUCTING THE ALTER EGO 